For some reason, God often uses movies to help me process big issues in my life. Even movies that I have seen many times. Last night at about 9:00, I decided that I just had to watch the movie Five People You Meet In Heaven. I haven't stayed up that late--on a work night--on purpose for a long time but it seemed necessary so I did. I stayed up and watched the whole thing. I've been struggling with depression and anxiety lately and after watching the movie I got the message. I still need to work on forgiveness. After looking up movie quotes to help me get a place to start, I am asking myself two questions: Why did I need to feel what I felt and why do I not need it anymore?

I've Got You Covered

This is my verse for today: Ephesians 6:10-17 Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. Put on the full armor of God, so that you can take your stand against the devil’s schemes. For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand. Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place, and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace. In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one. Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God. This is what this passage of scripture means to me today—in other words, this is what God is saying to me today through His word: Suzi, you don’t have to be strong in yourself. Find your strength in me. Don’t try to “handle it.” Use the protection I have given you to walk through this day and to stand up against the enemy. You aren't battling against the people who have caused you harm, now or in the past. You aren't being attacked by circumstances or situations. They’re only momentary, unintentional tools in the hand of the real enemy. Again, put on the protection I have given you so that when days like this come, you will be able to walk through them. When you've done this, that’s all I need you to do--stand firm in the truth. My righteousness covers all of your sin-debt. You are blameless in my sight. Walk in peace, wherever I lead you and through whatever we walk through. Remember that your mind is protected by the sacrifice of my Son. Raise your shield of faith: I am who I say I am. I do what I say I will do. You are who I say you are and you can do all things through me. My word is alive and active in you. And use the sword I have put in your hand. My Holy Word. I haven’t always understood the application of the “full armor of God” but as I began to read the description here in Ephesians and started really asking God to show me how to “put it on” this is what it has come to mean to me: The helmet of salvation: protects my mind from depression and anxiety The breastplate of righteousness: I am forgiven and clean in the sight of God because Jesus lives in me The belt of truth: I know the truth (God’s promises) and the truth sets me free Shoes of peace: I walk in peace—through whatever The sword of the spirit: The battle weapon that is 100% victorious and effective against the enemy The shield of faith: the knowledge that I am who God says I am; that I can do all things through Him; that He is who He says He is and does what He says He will do; and that His word is alive and active in me. It isn't automatic though. I have to remember that I have it, then I have to pick it up and use it.

Rock On!

Psalm 18:19 says"...he delivered me, because he delighted in me." Psalm 18 has been foundational in my journey out of the dark hole of depression as well as Isaiah 43 and Psalm 40:1-3. Again, though, I find myself in darkness. I believe I have been delivered. Psalm 18 is past tense after all, but I also realize that my freedom is a journey rather than a destination. It seems like it should be easier to climb out of the pit this time because I have done it before. Honestly, it isn't. At least it doesn't feel easier in the process. What does give me hope though, my Ebenezer Stone (1 Samuel 7:10-13), is the truth that God's word has brought me out of the deathly darkness and into the light of life. In 1 Samuel, the Israelites were in a battle with the Philistines and it wasn't looking good for Israel. Samuel offered a sacrifice to his God and the Philistines were defeated. They placed a stone in the place of that battle to remind them of what God had done for them. So now, battling the darkness again, I will not fall into discouragement. I will not give up the fight. I will turn the battle over to my God through the sacrifice of praise and remember my Ebenezer Stones. He has brought me out before and He will do it this time too. Praise His Name! In my weakness He is made strong. (2 Cor 12:9-10) The truth in God's word is the way out. Lay your Ebenezer stones along your path and you will always find your way.